Stirge's Reviews

Review #14

Well, okay, since I'm too stupid to go to work on time, I get an extra day off. Whee. You know, it's not like my job sucks. I work in a comic book store. I get to sit around all day doing paperwork with occasional breaks to go be Register Monkey, I work with mostly very cool people who are into all the same geeky crap that I am, and it's okay to spend an hour talking to a customer about comics, video games, movies, and shit like that, because I'm trying to sell them something. And I get to feel good about trying to sell people stuff, because it's stuff that I love, and when I go for the hard sell, it's because I honestly and truly believe that they will be better off for having it. Anyway, that's all neither here nor there.

Metroid: Zero Mission is a remake of the original NES Metroid, for the GameBoy Advance. It follows the same basic plot and layout of the original game, but with updated graphics and gameplay, plus all the new toys that Samus has gotten in the games since then. Actually, I'm not sure all that stuff wasn't in the original, because the original is insanely hard and I've never gotten very far into it.

Zero Mission, like all Metroid games before it, has something that I think should be in more action/adventure games: Multiple endings. Actually, I think there should be multiple endings in pretty much all games, and I think the criteria should be pretty much the same as they are in Metroid: How much stuff did you find, and how long did it take you? The how long did it take you part wouldn't really translate very well to, say, RPGs, which should take a long time, but adding in multiple endings adds immensely to the replay value of the game. In games where the gameplay itself is pretty much the point(actiony ones), the different endings need not really be all that big a deal; in the Metroid games you just get different pictures of Samus, in various levels of undress, from full armor to helmet off to halter top and shorts. In games where the story's the thing(RPG-y ones), the endings should be pretty dramatically different, and each should add to the story in a different way.

Anyway, I'm pretty tired and have forgotten my point, but I want to keep typing, so, to give you an idea what kind of gamer I am, here is a list of the games that I have close to hand. I'm not going to list the ones I have in storage, because I'd have to go get them out of storage, and fuck that.

Currently installed on my computer:
City of Heroes
Thief II: The Metal Age
Star Wars: Jedi Knight II - Jedi Outcast
Neverwinter Nights(plus Shadows of Undrentide and Hordes of the Underdark)
X-Change(Japanese anime-style pr0n; finished)
X-Change 2(more of the same. Mmm, pr0n; finished)
StarCraft(plus Brood War)
The standard suite of Microsoft time-wasters

Currently in my GameCube:
Metroid: Zero Mission(in the GameBoy Player)

Currently in my PlayStation 2:
West Wing Season 2 Disc 2 Side A(not a game, but still fucking awesome)

Currently in my Xbox:
Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance

Currently on my table:
PC games:
Star Wars: Jedi Knight - Jedi Academy
Final Fantasy XI
WarCraft: Orcs vs. Humans
The Ultimate Wizardry! Archives(never played)
WarCraft II: Tides of Darkness & Beyond the Dark Portal(never played)
Quest for Glory V: Dragon Fire
Magic: The Gathering Online
Freedom Force
Grim Fandango(finished)
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
WarCraft III: Reign of Chaos & The Frozen Throne
Return to Castle Wolfenstein
Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn & Throne of Bhaal(finished)
Icewind Dale(finished)
Return to Krondor(never played)
Septerra Core: Legacy of the Creator
The Curse of Monkey Island(finished)
Fallout 2(never played)
Fallout
Aliens vs. Predator
Blade Runner
Gabriel Knight 3: Blood of the Sacred, Blood of the Damned
Icewind Dale & Heart of Winter(yes, another copy of Icewind Dale)
Icewind Dale II(never played)
Rainbow Six Covert Ops Essentials(not mine, never played)
Fallout Tactics: Brotherhood of Steel(not mine, never played)
Civilization II
The Longest Journey(finished)
Civilization III
Escape from Monkey Island(finished)
The Temple of Elemental Evil
Tron 2.0(finished)
Darkened Skye

GameBoy games:
Dragon Warrior I & II

GameBoy Color games:
The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages
Pokemon Silver

GameBoy Advance games:
Metroid Fusion(finished)
Castlevania: Circle of the Moon
Golden Sun

PlayStation 2 games:
ATV Offroad Fury 2(unopened)
Final Fantasy X
Tony Hawk's Underground
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3(finished)
Devil May Cry(finished)
.hack//INFECTION
Disgaea - Hour of Darkness
Final Fantasy X-2
Legacy of Kain: Defiance
Beyond Good & Evil(finished)
Legaia 2: Duel Saga

GameCube games:
Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles
Soul Calibur II

On the floor:
Xbox games:
SSX3
Star Wars: The Clone Wars/Tetris Worlds
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2x
Dynasty Warriors 3(not mine)
Shenmue II

GameCube games:
Resident Evil Zero(finished)
Metroid Prime(finished)
Super Mario Sunshine

PlayStation 2 games:
Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven
La Pucelle Tactics
Xenosaga Episode I: Der Wille zur Macht
Suikoden III
Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando
Gran Turismo 3 A-Spec
Street Fighter EX3
Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver 2(finished)
Silent Hill 2(finished)
Okage Shadow King
Ico(finished)
Dark Cloud
Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4(finished)

Man, I got a lot of shit. And like I say, this doesn't include any of my PlayStation 1 games, my Dreamcast games, my SNES games, my NES games(not that I have a working NES...), my N64 games, the other PC games I have...I have a lot of goddamn games. Probably more than anyone I know. And look at that list and how few are finished. *sigh* I suck.

Well, whatever.

Posted by stirge at June 9, 2004 12:43 PM