Don't get used to this sort of output. I probably will drop to more normal like 1 entry every week or something starting, I don't know, tomorrow. But for now, I'll talk about a game I've never even played, and yet have tons of experience with, due to my roommate playing it obsessively for months, to the exclusion of basically all else except work.
PlanetSide. This is a massively-multiplayer online first person shooter, or Moff-Piss. This differs from Counter-Strike in that in Counter-Strike, you generally only had to put up with a maximum of 15 fucktards at a time. PlanetSide throws that limit right out the window, allowing you to interact with potentially thousands of complete fucking wastes of human life at a time. Now, I may be exaggerating here just a bit; there may be one or two decent human being who have been sucked into playing this game, but they'll quickly adapt by becoming worthless pieces of shit, or maybe by quitting. One or the other.
Oh, yeah. In case it isn't clear, I'm not real fond of PvP(the game style, not the comic. Although the comic never really did all that much for me, either). Or, well, people. Especially people on the internet, because of whatsisname's Greater Theory of Internet Fuckwads, as laid out over at Penny Arcade. I mean, I don't really even like multiplayer co-op games. Other players fall into one of several categories: better than me, in which case I hope they get leprosy and their fingers fall off and they can never play games again, regardless of how nice they are, although usually people that are better than you at video games are assholes about it. I know I am. Or they're complete idiots and watching them play is just painful and you wish they'd go away and let someone who knows what the hell they're doing play. Or they're reasonably competent, but they're dickwads. Or they're me, in which case they're entertaining to watch, always polite, and never wrong. Or they own the game, the console, the TV, the couch, and more-or-less the apartment, and they feed you to boot, in which case they're really cool and way too nice for their own good and you hope they don't ever wise up. Although now that I think about it, I fit those last criteria. But I wasn't talking about me. And I don't have a couch.
What the hell was I talking about? What game is this even a review of? Scroll back...Oh yeah, PlanetSide. Anyway. It sucks. And the one gun makes what could just possibly be the second-most annoying sound in the entire world. (The most annoying sound in the world is the power meter outside my bedroom window, which keeps me awake and threatens to drive me insane. If you ever see in the news that I went insane and killed myself destroying a power meter, you'll know why.) FPS's in general are just not fun, although they should be. Like Half-Life. Half-Life was fun. Or, oh, you know what was a really good FPS? Thief. Although the S in Thief's FPS didn't stand for Shooter. I mean, sure, you could shoot your bow and all, but that wasn't the point. But that's a review for another time.
Posted by stirge at May 12, 2004 11:17 PM