Stirge's Reviews

Review #3

Okay, so Soul Calibur II. If you're into video games and not here just because you're a friend of mine and more supportive of me than I am of you(it's not like I read anyone else's blogs...I'm too busy playing video games. Does it help that I feel bad about it?), then chances are good that you already know all about Soul Calibur II. It only had a huge media blitz and was covered to death by pretty much every gaming site in existence. If you're not into video games, well, good on you, don't start, they'll eat you alive. I have no money, like, ever, and the reason is video games. But anyway, Soul Calibur II is very, very pretty. And really, that's about all I can say in its favor. I mean, the visual effects are cool and all, and watching other people play it is kind of cool, but mostly I'm pretty upset that I bought it. Because, you know, it's really cool, and I feel like I *should* like it, because all my friends really like it. But, really, like all fighting games, I really suck at it, and my inability to improve my skills really frustrates me. I tend to pick up games very quickly, reach a minimal level of skill, and never improve from there. I'm, like, forced to be a dilettante, because I grasp most concepts very quickly and easily, but then have trouble applying them. So, like, I know that <-+G will Guard Interrupt a low attack, and that doing it successfully is very, very useful(for instance, the computer will often use this move to ass-rape me), I have done maybe one successful Guard Interrupt the entire time I've been playing the game.

So, I've been playing Weapon Master mode, which is mostly the point of the game if you're going to be playing it by yourself, since the Arcade Mode is a joke. It's insanely frustrating. I nearly threw my controller through my television screen just before I started this review, because I've been trying the same mission for the last hour. Currently I'm 0/30 on this mission, which involves fighting five opponents in a row with a very short time limit, which is shared through all five fights, unlike most fights, which have their own separate time limits. You get an extra 15 seconds for each win, and you lose if at any time the timer reaches 0, no matter what life totals you and your opponent have. This is, to put it bluntly, fucking impossible. Unless, unlike me, you are capable of learning from experience and getting better at games by playing them a lot.

Anyway. I suppose if you like being horribly frustrated while looking at very pretty pictures, you might think of picking up this game. The Xbox version looks the best, and has Spawn in it, whoop-de-fucking-doo. The PS2 version plays the best, due to the absolutely wonderful controllers Sony provides you with, and has Heihachi in it. Which is stupid. It's a weapons-fighting game. Heihachi has no weapons. Stupid. The GameCube version looks almost as good as the Xbox version, but the controller doesn't really lend itself all that well to fighting games. It does, however, have Link in it, which is why I bought it, being a dorky Legend of Zelda fanboy. I don't use Link for WMM, though. I use Charade. Which, come to think of it, may be why I'm finding the game so hard, since I keep switching styles. Maybe I am getting better, but since my efforts are spread out among a bunch of different weapon styles, it's less noticeable. Hmmm. Nah, more likely I just suck. I'm going to play something else. I'll get back to SC2 in another 3 months, once I forget how much I hate it again.

Posted by stirge at May 12, 2004 10:39 PM